SpongeBob and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

While SpongeBob sleeps, Gary, his snail pet notices his food bowl is empty. So, he slithers up to the diving board, jumps off, and starts to lick SpongeBob, who giggles and wakes up.

“Gary! What are you doing!?” Says SpongeBob.

“Meow” Answers Gary.

“Oh my gosh! Your bowl is empty! Not to worry, Gare-gare! Food is on the way, faster than you can say organic!” Sponge bob rushes to get food.


“There you go, Gary!” Gary sniffs it and rejects the food. He slithers over to a green glowing fungus on the floor, smiles, and eats some.

“Gary! Shame on you! I realize you’re a bottomfeeder, but have some manners! You know you’re not supposed to eat goop off the ground! Now go on and enjoy your health food!”

“Meow, meow, meow…” Gary mocks of SpongeBob while attempts to clean it, but to no avail.

“What is this stuff, anyway? It doesn’t seem to be coming off!” Spongebob says frustrated. The doorbell rings. “Ooh! Company!” He itches his head as he answers the door.

Patrick: “Hi, SpongeBob! Eww!!!” Patrick gasps.

“Is something wrong, Patrick?”

“SpongeBob! What is that?” Patrick points SpongeBob’s head.

“What’s what?”

“This!” Patrick bends SpongeBob’s head over so he can see the green glowing fungus on his head.

“Ow!!! P-P-P-Patrick, what should I do?”

“Scratch it like there’s no tomorrow!” Answered Patrick.

It’s happening again. There are new neighbors in Bikini Bottom—far inconvenient than the grumpy Godzilla—that threat to put an end the life of many species and make miserable the existence of many others. They are known as the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Iodine, Caesium, Strontium and Plutonium. Released into the sea since March of 2011 in the coast of Japan, this four have plagued the entire Pacific ocean. And now, the Bikini Atoll in the Marshall Islands—home of SpongeBob and Godzilla—is under the curse of radiation—again.

How could this be possible?

People want to have their Christmas tree shining the whole holydays, the TV set on at the background while they work at the computer, the houses lit even when nobody it’s at home and many amenities like that when as society, we haven’t found renewable ways to entirely satisfy our power-thirsty civilization, so we appeal to nuclear fission.

The next Christmas, SpongeBob should write his wish letter to TEPCO—responsible for Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Plan—instead of Santa, begging to cure Patrick’s thyroid cancer or Squidward’s Leukemia. I’m certain they will fail to accomplish it, but maybe they can lit his Christmas tree for free in return.

The extract included corresponds to SpongeBob Squarepants episode “The fungus among us” aired on September 29, 2007.

I wish the radiation could disappear at the end of the episode just like happened in the show. But the Four Horseman will dwell among us enough to watch SpongeBob Show cancelled.

Enough  to watch us cancelled.


M. Ch. Landa

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